The Burbs

This neighborhood we live in is, well, interesting. We really haven't seen anyone come out of their homes all winter and now that it is spring, everyone is coming out of their caves. The neighborhood is a buzz. There are children everywhere, we just are not really sure who they belong to. Where are their parents? The people to the immediate left of us are rarely home. They have kids, but not as many as are in the street in front of our house most nights. Neighbors on the left's children are very suspect. If they happen to catch a glimpse of us, the two boys look at us like they are terrified of the white people next door, and the little girl gives us the grungies.

The woman to the immediate right works from home. We do not understand what she does at home all day, but she is bothered by her other neighbors' trampoline which is situated right outside the window where she works. She is also bothered by the fact that they cut down some trees by the pond - she loves everything in nature. She put up and cares for the wood duck house in our back yard. She has a feeding trough for the ducks and deer. But, apparently she hates squirrels and dislikes that we leave peanuts for those rodents. I only know this because B talks to Peter. Somehow, she is always outside when he is. Weird.

The house two to the left are young realtors. No one in the neighborhood can believe they bought this house that had water damage from a pipe bursting. They believe there are millions of mold spores growing inside that house. They are also on their second set of squatters. I have met all of the free-loaders, but not the people who actually pay the mortgage. There is a new puppy at the house. I am not sure who it belongs to.

Then there is the house across the street. He was terrified of dogs. He walked right along our drive way at the exact moment Pete opened the garage door and Honey ran out ahead of Pete, and Honey bit him. Now he is really terrified of dogs. (See Luka Lost entry - it all makes sense now, right?) His kids are so freaked out now that I think I have actually heard them scream a couples of times when Luka has been outside.

The woman down the road has had a cast on her foot for 12 months. She walks her little white dog up and down the road and has invited me to Buko - I don't know if that is spelled right, I don't know what it is. She was really great friends with the previous owners of our home and seems to be a little angry at us for buying this house. Like if we didn't buy it, they would have never taken that job in Chicago. Did I mention the dog is a little yippy dog?

There is an older man who is always watching out the window every time we drive down the road. I wonder what he is waiting for? His plants to grow? See, he has these tall house plants in pots that he sets out in a line down his sidewalk in the spring. It's weird.

Then there are the people that have absolutely no landscaping except sometimes they set two tiny little pots on their front steps.

Finally there is N and J. They are nice. I thought we all would be great friends - they have a three year old boy (and older children from their first marriages). N is in a church group for moms that she really likes because she can swear. Then last night N started giving me all this information about a fast they were all on to clean out their colons. It was too much. I don't think she even remembers my name and she was telling me about her colon.

This neighborhood is weird. But I am sure if the neighbors had to describe us, this is what they would say:

One has a weird name I never quite caught and one is constantly taking care of the lawn. They play outside with their little boy and then bribe him with shows and snacks to get him back in the house. They let their crazy dog run loose and she scares away the ducks. They have lived here for a year and they have not invited us over. She is always walking into the house with shopping bags and he is always leaving the house with golf clubs. The neighbors are weird.