Part II: Music (Juke Box)

Runaway, Del Shannon: "I'm walkin' in the rain. Tears are fallin' and I feel the pain. Wishin' you were here by me. To end this misery. And I wonder . . .". So it's not total refreshment because I can't give you a date or an exact moment in time that this song takes me back to. Instead, it is generally one of my first memories - my father singing this song to me. Today, it is one of the songs I sing to my son. Maybe one day he will have a similar recollection - without the record playing in the background.

Papa Don't Preach, Madonna: It's 1986. I am ten years old. I am in the basement wearing white high heel pumps stolen for a moment from my mother's closet. I am adorned with a white puffy skirt from my sister's closet. It is actually this tulle thing that used to be a requirement for wear under a prom dress. I will be seriously injured if she knows I have been in her room; perhaps dead if she finds out I actually had the courage to touch something AND leave with it. I add my own black leggings and hot pink head band. I look awesome. I accessorize with beads in all sizes. I am armed with a curling iron. I don't understand the lyrics yet, but I am amazing singing "Papa don't preach I'm in trouble deep. Papa don't Preach I've been losing sleep."

Livin' On a Prayer, Bon Jovi: It's 1987. I am with friends Sara, Erin and Kelly. The three of them have been friends practically since they were born. I have infiltrated the group. We beg Kelly's brother to give us a ride to the swimming pool. It is too hot to ride bikes. We jump into his new red convertible. Did I mention Kelly and Ben are spoiled brats? We jump into the red convertible. The top is down. The wind is blowing in our hair. I will look like a chia pet by the time it is over. The radio is blaring Bon Jovi. Everyone loves Bon Jovi. I strive to be different. I want to be dislike Bon Jovi - I am too cool for this. But I have to be honest with myself - it is just to good. I surrender and belt out - "We've got to hold on - ready or not. You live for the fight when it's all that you've got!"

Everything I Do, I Do It For You, Bryan Adams (theme song from Robin Hood, Prince of thieves): Its 1991. I have recently met Jon F. at a friend's cabin - while I was dating someone else. I fell hard and fast - at least by my standards then. After the cabin weekend he invited me for a surprise day. Somehow I convinced my mother to let me go. I did a lot of cry-begging as a young teen - this is one thing that boys have never picked up on as an effective method for getting what you want. I am pretty sure she did not realize that I slept in his sleeping bag at the cabin so that he could easily wake me up at dawn to watch the sunrise with him - or that he was there for that matter. I am sure she was just happy that my leaving for the day with Jon meant I would not be with Arin. Jon picked me up in the morning and we drove to a nearby town. Bryan Adams sang on the radio - no mistake Mr. F purchased the tape- yes tape, for me. We arrived at his friend's house. A helmet waited for me on the table. Dirt Bike Riding! So fun! On the way home, Jon explained that there was something he wanted to show me. Not what you think - It was a beautiful hidden bridge in the woods. We kissed. Awwww .... Soon, he left for basic training. He sent me a card declaring "I love you more than love." I think in total the relationship lasted three weeks - but still, one of the best dates ever.

Shake it Up, The Cars: It's 1992. I am in driver's ed. class. Our teacher, may his soul rest in peace, walks around unknowingly EVERY DAY with a bumper sticker on his butt that reads "Start seeing motorcycles" and I laugh EVERY DAY. One day the boys started passing around a pair of badly misshapen glasses that usually adorned the spaces inbetween the ears of Mr. G. When they landed on my desk I could not control myself. I laughed until I could not breathe. This made my friend Amy lose it. We both were kicked out and summoned to the hall for the rest of the period, which of course, we could have cared less about. On our actual driving days, a stop was always made at Mr.G's house to "check the laundry." The laundry detergent he used smelled like whiskey and made him fall asleep. I prepared for this exciting class and getting my license by driving around for hours with my sister's boyfriend (now husband) in his "T-top." I was the driver. He was the D.J. The only CD we ever listened to was Heartbeat City, The Cars. Shake it Up was my favorite. I requested it over and over and over.

Sweet Child 'O Mine, GNR: It's 1994. I am a caption on the basketball team. This position has many perks. One that you may not think of is having all your requested pre-game songs actually make the tape. That's right - there is nothing like a little GNR to get you pumped to play some serious defense and BOX OUT!

Crazy, Aerosmith: Still 1994. Senior Homecoming. I am going to a dance again for the second time with Henry a/k/a Hank. We are just friends. I am dating someone who has already graduated and unfortunately for me, there is nothing like a few years in college to make your man not want to come back to his hometown for a high school dance. I hold out a while for my crush to ask - but that was crazy - I do have a "boyfriend." He asks Zara - Amazon woman of a neighboring town. Now she is a rival. Crush and I sit on homecoming court together. Everyone has known of our "on again-off again" status since sixth grade, so naturally we are paired together. We walk around the gym hand in hand. We dance. The music shifts to Aerosmith. Our eyes lock. Something in the room has just shifted. I think this is bad news for Zara and Hank. He pulls me closer. Yes, this is definitely bad news for Zara and Hank. We leave together, assuming they will figure it out and leave together.

Wildflowers, Tom Petty: It's 1996. Pete has traveled with me to my hometown - the Arcade, as he calls it. I decide it is a good idea to go out to the local bars with Pete, my parents, and an ex-boyfriend (the "crush"). We venture to a bar called the Fish Tank (Which in a later year, I will refer to as Fish Guts, as I stand on a table at a wedding in which I am an attendant, in an attempt to continue the party. While I am successful at arranging an after-party, I never make it myself). Pete takes a chance at using a bathroom clad with pictures of nearly naked women. He re-joins the table and explains that he was asked whether he was "selling" while taking a piss. A common mistake - having long hair in the town of a population of 2,500 and all. Someone puts money in the Juke Box. Tom Petty's voice floods the bar. Pete looks directly in my eyes and sings "You belong among the wildflowers . . . you belong somewhere you feel free." It is the first time I have ever heard him sing. Nobody else is at the table. I am in love.

Cripple Creek, The Band; Scarlet Begonias, Grateful Dead; Uncle Sam, Grateful Dead; and You Turn Me On, Ugly Americans: It's any weekend in 1997 or 1998. Peter and I are on a road trip to somewhere. These songs make the cut every single time. Peter does not sing out loud in the car - except to Cripple Creek, Uncle Sam, and You Turn Me On. It makes me smile. When Scarlet Begonias is on, it is my turn to sing like I have never sung before - even if it does not sound very pleasant.

Real Love, John Lennon: Its 2001. I just graduated from Law School. Took the bar. Bought a first home. Now I am waiting on the top of hill. I walk down the aisle. My mother on one side of me, my father on the other. Jeff takes my hand. Leads me to the rest of our lives. Later that night, we dance.

Van Morrison, Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?" Its 2001. I just graduated from Law School. Took the bar. Bought a first home. Now I am waiting on the top of hill. My mother grabs one of my arms. My father looks at me, a tear in his eye - we both look away. Together, they lead me down the staircase that is our aisle. They let go at the bottom. Peter takes my hand. Later that night, again, my father takes my arm. A tear in his eye. We walk to the dance floor. The music plays, and we sing, "Have I told you lately that I love you? I have told you there's no one else above you?"

Hey Jude, Beatles: It's 2004. I have been told I am having a girl. We name her. Prepare the closet with lots of dresses. In the delivery room, the first words our son hears from his father is "Holy Shit! It's a boy!" I am not shaken at all. We name him Julian. A month later Peter and I leave him with Peter's parents for the first time. We walk into the movie theater. A song is playing - "Hey Jude." I freak out and try to convince Peter that we have to go home - it is a sign. (consequently the girl's name we picked out also had ties to the Lennon family - the short form of the name was to be Luci). Pete convinces me a "sign" is not always bad. But that this was a good sign - just reminding us that we are parents and how truly lucky we are. I have not heard that song in public since.

One, MJB and Bono: Its any day, any time. This song does not take me to any identifiable place, but almost a place outside my being. Another life perhaps. The lyrics are so powerful. It provides a recollection of all the feelings, emotions and passions that you have ever felt - both those that readily come to mind, and those that are buried deep.